Intro

Funnily enough I came across the concept of radical acceptance relatively late in my life when I was in my thirties, taking a Mindfulness course and listening, amongst others, to the lovely words of Tara Brach. Until that point, the idea of (radically) accepting everything that comes up in me as "part of me" had not really crossed my mind. Too much had I grown up with the duality of "good" and "bad" and thus, like most of us, I had developed this instinct to automatically suppress these thoughts or reactions in me that came up and would be, under the lens of my cultural upbringing, considered "bad". 

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Only after taking this course and internalising its teachings' did it start to dim on me that there is no such thing as bad or good when we are speaking of our thoughts and more so, if we want to get fully in touch with ourselves, we need to allow all the internal voices to be heard. That doesnt necessarily mean that it is something we want to act upon or that it is something we condone as such, but, in order to understand ourselves well, we cannot ignore something inside of us. Instead we need to embrace it and reach out to it with love, kindness and curiosity and only that way will we be able to resolve it, and, if it is for example an emotional reaction due to some previous trauma, it is only through this process of listening to ourselves that we can eventually surpass these traumas. 

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Until this point, I had tried for 33 years to grow and develop as a human being while ignoring this "negative" part inside of me and I dont want to say it has been futile, but, once I started radically accepting everything in me and be curious about myself, show understanding for the different parts in me, did I make leaps forward in self-awareness and understanding. It has led to more than one conversation with myself, with "this something inside of me" and always I have been left with this feeling that some of us might remember from the most honest conversations we had with our friends in a bad-lit bar, around a bonfire or as teenagers, when we felt fully understood and fully seen. More than once did I get a feeling of enlightenment or emancipation that almost made me cry and for that reason, I am sure this is the right way forward. 

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Now, I want to put some disclaimers on that. One thing is, as also said in the Mindfulness course - Our "thoughts are real, but not true". The further I had these "conversations with myself" I realised that this was the case. We have thoughts and reactions to situations and they feel to us in these moments as if they were an absolute truth, like they are facts. But in actuality, they are like another sense, they are subjective, they are affected and biased, they are - not true. We may be affected by all sorts of previous experiences, moods or previous interactions in the day, that affect us and the way we react and we think. 

How many days has everything just flowed in the morning? You started with some good coffee or some exercise or, it is winter, but on the way to work the sun was shining and somehow, just by having a tick of positivity to kickstart your day, the rest of the day, all challenges, all annoying colleagues, seemed to be mastered so much easier? 

Or maybe another example; how often have you said something to friends or people and felt afterwards that you have really hurt or offended that person, you got home, probably reflecting on it in your shower and feeling like you really owe that person an apology? Later you reach out to them, you write or when you meet them again, you are eager to say sorry and you realise they have forgotten all about it and dont know what you are on about?

These examples don't even mention how our insecurities, previous trauma or other things affect how we see the world.

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For me these things clearly show that our thoughts are real (to us), but they are not true. Nonetheless, they do have a tremendous amount of value in that they give us so much material for dig deeper, listen to ourselves and get to know ourselves. But in order to do so, we first need to stop automatically pushing some of them aside. 

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Accepting this and listening to it, is also a really big part in changing our relationship with ourselves to one that is much more healthy, filled with loving and kindness rather than being our own's worst critique (similarly a relationship I have had with myself the first 33 years without it leading to much improvement - so why not treat yourself like you would a friend or someone in need?).

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Fortunately, I had some very lucky encounters leading up to this "year" and getting me to this point - the 8 Week MBSR course with videos by people like Tara Brach, Jon Kabat-Zinn and as extension thereof also the "compassion for the doubter" by Ann Weiser Cornell, as well as reading the book "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents", which has helped me tremendously and propelled the level of listening and understanding I have for myself to another level. Of course, starting this dialogue, you notice how much you still suppress your own thoughts instinctively as you just walk through the street or go by your day-to-day activities, so this is really just the start of my journey, but one I am happy to have departed on nonetheless and I would like to share some of these conversations with myself in order to show how much value they hold and in the hope that they inspire more people to start on this self-compassion journey.

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I also want to give a brief disclaimer here - me writing these stories and sharing them does in no way, shape or form mean that I think that my stories are more important than those of anyone else. Nonetheless, as also with my other creative project on this page, I do think that stories and experiences of every individual are exceptional, something worthwhile to listen to and to get inspired by. So while my other project focusses on the stories of other people, in the hope to show the beauty of each and everyone of us, what I am writing here is the same argument and as such, I also think that my "human experience" is hopefully valuable. 

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Another disclaimer I would like to make - is that, although I usually try to stop and jot down the main points whenever I have these honest conversations with myself somewhere in my daily life, they are retrospectively recorded to the best of my memory and subject to the completeness of my notes of the day.

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Practically, the below is written a bit like a Diary Entrance, with the newest stories / entries always added to the bottom.

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06.02.2026 - Uyuni, Bolivia, Heading to the Geysers on a Tour

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